How to get the most out of Loyalty

On the most recent NoBS with Jen & Jess Livestream a conversation around loyalty sprouted. Specifically around "owing" the organizations we work for. The Google says: Loyalty is a strong feeling of support or allegiance. I can totally get behind this definition because it clearly states "a strong feeling" 

Which in my head means it is intrinsic, as in I am the source or vessel of the sentiment. But thats not really how we interact with the idea of Loyalty. For some of us it chains us to a situation that stunts our growth or worse to unhealthy situations. In other cases there is an expectation that someone owes us Loyalty, which gets extra twisted in the workspace. 

Im going to attempt to tease out what I think contributes to the wonky ness and what I think we can anchor on to ensure we stay on the Path to Becoming the Promise We are Intended to Be.

Confusing the Company with the Person

Lets start with the stinky stuff. Have you ever had a supervisor that judged people for leaving the department or company? As in they took it personally. I have, the ones I know would pout about "all the things we did for them" siting raises, professional development, increased responsibilities and so forth. 

The interesting thing is the pouty manager is confusing himself with the company because the truth is; every manager is providing access to raises, professional development and the rest. The manager is not funding these things from their personal bank account. Nor are they saving these opportunities just for you. The reality is after the manager moves on or you and I move on another manager would provide access to the same opportunities to another employee. Thats just the way it works.

So a manager expecting loyalty comes from a selfish place, and maybe thats the point. Expecting loyalty for doing what every manager would do for every employee is weak sauce.

On the other side of the coin we have the employee who expects Loyalty from a company. Ive been guilty of this. Back in the day I witnessed one of my mentors being "exited" from his position and eventually terminated. I was ultra disappointed because I know how many hours he put in, I saw the sacrifices he made in favor of the team, our projects, and the company. I judged "the company" for the cold & harsh way they discarded him. 

But the reality was his approach & style no longer fit in the direction the organization was headed. His reluctance to adapt hindered progress and reinforced dividing lines between the field and office. My expectation of loyalty from the company to him for his sacrifices was unreasonable. 

Because the deal between an employee and a company is we are compensated for efforts when we get our paycheck. The memory of a business is short. The business does not have an accounting system that measures and rewards sacrifice, effort, and intent. When our focus isnt in line with the business objectives we can either choose to get in alignment or choose to work elsewhere. 

The company doesnt owe me any Loyalty, and I dont owe the company Loyalty. It is simply an exchange.

Why does it Happen

Now why do we feel indebted, like we owe our loyalty? I think this comes from a good place. Appreciation feels super good, and raises, promotions and such are symbols of appreciation.  Even thought these things are just part of a system, it did take an actual human being to make the calls and push the right buttons. 

More importantly, when that human being invests time in listening to you, gaining an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and challenges you to grow beyond your comfort zone something special happens.

My money says these special people do this everywhere they go. And just in case you missed it:

• listening
• understanding
• challenging your comfort zone

are all free!!! The individual who supports you in your growth can accomplish this with zero investment from the organization. 

Have you had a manager or colleague do this with you? Should you gift them with your loyalty?

The answer for me is yes and yes. With the distinction that my loyalty is for the human being that contributed to my path, the company was just the place we met.

Anchor Points

Hold on tight cuz Im still chewing on this one. Though I will gift my loyalty to the human beings that have contributed to my growth, I have to recognize that they are not the source of my growth. They are not the source of the gifts and talents that reside with in me. 

And these gifts and talents that you and I have can thrive in many environments, its a matter of understanding the conditions we thrive in.

Like a company we can design a system that helps us grow. We can curate a community that accelerates our rate of learning. We can build an environment for challenging thought and depth of service.

We can be Loyal to ourselves...