They say "The Show aint over till the fat lady sings" but what they dont say is what begins after The Show is over.

By The Show, I mean life. The time we have left on this rock. None of us know how much time we have left. None of us know when the other is going to leave, but you best believe everyone you and I have spent time with is going to leave. 

And when The Show is over for them the mourning begins. I replay the good times, the frustrating times, the warm times, and the hard times. I think about the missed Opportunities. The opportunities to form deep & meaningful bonds, opportunities to show them their greatness, and the opportunities to have played a part in them being their full selves. 

Its the missed opportunities that add to the pile of regret. 

And here is where I think the lesson is. Everyone I know is going to pass. I dont know when, but without a doubt everyone will leave this rock. So between now and then I get to jump on those opportunities. And Im going to attempt to share the 3 practices Im using that helps me keep my regret bucket low:

• Let them know what they mean to you
• Let them know what you think about them
• Contribute to their dreams & ambitions in some way

Let them know what they mean to you

This one is a little uncomfortable because it requires some vulnerability and very few people do it. But telling someone what they mean to me is all about how they have impacted my life. Now I dont mean a dissertation or case study, its more like letting them know how their warmth gave me comfort or how & why I looked up to them.  

Its sharing with them how their advice shifted my thinking or how they make me feel accepted. 

Be warned, it will feel awkward at first for you and your people. But that wears off and its totally worth it.

Let them know what you think about them

This one is more about courageous truth than it is about compliments. Its more about being that powerful mirror that will show them their warts, cuz we all need that. Its about breaking through the static of polite passive observations and helping them see when they are in poor form. Helping them see when their words dont match their actions. Helping them see when they are betraying themselves.

And on the same note its about helping them come to terms with their greatness. Letting them know the tremendous impact they are capable of. 

To date, I havent met anyone that is fully aware of the massive impact they have. and I have this endless curiosity about how much their impact would grow if they know they had it.

Contribute to their Dreams and Ambitions

This is the easiest one for me cuz its simply a matter of sharing my experience, my unique gifts and talents in service to them. It requires me to have an understanding of what it is they want to learn, experience, and or achieve. 

I may not get them across the finish line but I can sure as hell give them some fuel and keep them on the path.

And in the end Ill know that I didnt leave them running all by themselves. Ill know that if even for a moment they werent doing life all by themselves. Ill know that look in their eyes when they knew I saw them.

So right now, today, while The Show is still playing go out there and dump out the regret bucket. Cuz the Fat Lady is warming up and she will be on stage before you know it.

In memory of Buddy:

Be Cool and We'll Talk at You Next Time!!!!!