What it takes to form Meaningful Connection

I used to chase promotions and raises and that was like running on a never ending hamster wheel. I was blinded by status and shiny things. The truth is that the status that comes with formal positions is fleeting in that the status only exists when I am physically present. Meaning that people are happy to see me leave the room. 

Chasing shiny things like cars, the new house, fancy vacations and such; was my way of creating my own prison. 

I finally reached a point where I had accumulated all the things I thought I needed to be happy and got the promotions I thought I always wanted and felt entirely empty. So what was missing?

Well CONNECTION!! Thats what I was missing. And I know I am not the only one. Too many of us are missing it. And I wonder, Are you yearning for connection?

I think this is due to the simple formula needed to climb the corporate ladder. Miss Jennifer Lacy puts it this way: "If you want to grow in the company all you have do is follow the status quo, but if you want to cause lasting impact you have to be prepared to make waves and challenge the status quo"

I completely agree with this perspective. Adhering to the status quo is easy, all i have to do is fall in line and be another worker bot. Avoid rocking the boat, learn all the corporate cliches and suppress what comes natural to me. This looked like me treating people like objects, they were just tools and material I needed to meet my objectives. Sure I smiled and tried to say nice things but I didnt care about them.

I couldnt care about them because i hadnt formed any meaningful connections. 

So the question is what does it take to form meaningful connection?

Well for me at least, it took Vulnerability. I had to take the masks off and they didnt just fall off. Because I had been putting up a front for way too long. I had a whole bunch of masks and I know I aint the only one. Heres a short list of the masks I used to wear. Maybe you have worn theses masks too?

• Ambitious Career dude
• Manager of the Century
• Confident all knowing
• Strong & Flawless

Taking them off was scary but the sky didnt fall down around me so i kept going. The hardest part was the people around me didnt trust it right out of the gate. You should expect this. Its natural for people to be apprehensive about a change in your behavior, because of the history. There is a big ole wake of pain & distrust we have created so we have to give people time to heal and build a body of work for people to believe in.

I know youre probably thinking "this vulnerability crap again" yes. i only advocate for it because I know how much it has improved my quality of life and I want the same for everybody. 

Vulnerability doesnt have to be squishy, so lets put it in actionable terms. Here is what vulnerability looks like in Jesse-land:

• sharing the dirty details
• saying "I dont know" (out loud, to other humans😜)
• saying "I ned help" (out loud, to other humans)

and the hardest for me was

• receiving / accepting help

The ultra interesting thing is the more vulnerable I become, the broader my influence grows. Which goes completely against everything I thought I knew. 

I choose to see this as evidence that influence is a biproduct of connection.

So I ask you, how do you build connection?

and if youre struggling in the connection zone

when will you decide to be a little vulnerable?