Story 19 still pulls all kind of emotion out of me, my eyes teared up while I was preparing for this blog entry. If you dont believe me you can hear my voice crack in the Audio Book.

I think its because of the intensity in the experience I had way back then. I had a goal to run a sub 4 hour marathon before I turned 40. A goal I recommend to anyone because it helped me transform my lifestyle. By lifestyle I mean:

• Exercise
• Sleep
• Nutrition
• Mindset
• Community

I needed all of this cuz like my Doctor said "there werent any pills that could fix the problems I had" It took several attempts for me to actually achieve my goal and along the way I had a ginormous awakening during my worst performance. One take away I want you to get from this is: there are lessons in the dark times. If you missed it, go back and reflect the lesson is still there.

Anyhow, my performance was no surprise since my training and nutrition leading up to the race was that of a person who really liked talking about it more than actually doing it. Through training for several marathons I discovered a special calculus that makes perfect sense in Jesse Land. The formula accounts for the volume of post race aches & pain relative to how much training is skipped. so 50% of total training = 6 days of hobbling around praying you dont have to go to the bathroom because sitting down and standing back up is excruciating. Youre probably thinking "this dude got teary eyed about #2🤔" Negative Ghost Rider. The overwhelming emotion comes from what I learned about myself in that 6 hour marathon. More importantly I think it is a truth for all of us. 

My body was ill equipped for the run and 12 miles in I was depleted of energy and positive thoughts. Even worse there was a comfortable place for me to stop and rest, it was my house. My home happened to be along the race route and it called to me like breakfast tacos on a Saturday morning. My brain started whispering to me "you should listen to your body" "you arent gonna meet your goal, so take it easy and try again next time". My brain rationalized a mazillion reasons to quit.

But I have quit so many things in my life and in this moment I was sick of quitting. No one knew, no one cared but for some reason all the way to my eighth grade memories I knew I could quit. I knew quitting this time would be a defining moment for me. Some how some way the echoes of pain my people endured before me ran through my mind. The sacrifices my people made to reduce my exposure to pain flickered in my head like a movie. I could see the abuse & neglect my mom took for us, and my debt to her for cashing in her dreams and aspirations to raise my brother and I became palpable. 

I couldnt quit, quitting would dishonor the hardships generations before have gone through. Their fierce commitment to kicking doors down and tolerating injustices layed the groundwork for me to access conditions I could thrive in.  

I couldnt quit just because my little feet hurt and tender muscles were sore. Yes, it was only a marathon but on that run I learned how to show appreciation for all the pain & sacrifice people have made on my behalf.

I limped across the finish line, my body was demolished but my will & mindset were activated. They can now be used as tools or weapons to conquer myself. 

So how can this help you? Well I mentioned earlier that you may have some hidden lessons that you can go back and dig up. But if you dont, there are dark times ahead for all of us. In the next one tap into the magnitude of passion, heart and power within you. Dont quit, keep fighting, scratch & claw yourself across the finish line.

Cuz this will be your evidence. Evidence of the time you didnt stop, you didnt quit, you pushed through beat up, exhausted and dirty but you crossed the finish line.